This season of my life is so violently shifting that I am aching to find a sturdy landing. God you are my only source of comfort. I cannot continue seeking others to help the way only you can. To love me only the way you can. I have this mountain on the horizon. I cannot understand what it will look like nor, do I truly feel prepared for this climb to the summit. I am seeing though that you can't reach the summit with tangled rigging.
The only person who can grasp my feelings is in Ohio right now. She is facing the same doubt and anxious yet excited wonder about this adventure. Please be with her now as well! I pray she is at peace and is having a smooth time of transition after school. We are the two you have called to GO. The ones around me are supportive yet they can't help fully. Its frustrating to them I know. But God help me to be slow to speak. I want to continue building relationships not tearing them down like a wrecking ball. With one swift swoop it shatters, rubble left in heaps.
Help me restore ruins before I leave. You have given me such hope. Help me to be a good example of your joy this week. Let me more than ever let go of things. To release blame I've been clinching. To forgive. I am worn, help me to find rest. I pray for strength as I finish out work this next week and finish up the GROWING list of "to do's".
Thank you for being such a BIG God that you care about my measly problems.
I love you!!!
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