Purpose. A voice, do I even have one? So many times I seek and cry out hoping to have the strength of a lion. a ROAR. But more times than not I whimper a mute and meek squeak.
Desire to be used by God. my purpose. This week I have slid, no longer believing that I can do this alone; seeing my true vulnerability in my temptations. This darkness i cannot shake consumes my thoughts and then mirrors actions. How can I be a true woman of God when I myself cannot seem to stand up against my own temptations.
I haven't yet searched my prayers for your will in my life for the start of 2011 with all fervor and passion I should. When people look at me I fear they always see the front I put up. I facade...my defense hidden beneath my jovial laughter. Why must I continue to search everything BUT you God?
Running running running endless motion, never hesitating to seek the pause. My purpose is to display your endless ocean of grace with a cynical and hurting people. The world.
Solomon in his wisdom and riches tested and tried everything under the sun seeking his purpose and in the end found it to be meaningless. I cannot let go of these hauntings of past slip ups.
I feel like Peter. Wanting to walk to Christ amidst the crashing rolling tide. Pleased with my progress I contunue wanting to survey what "I" have accomplished soley with my own merit. With a glance down I take my eyes off of Jesus and begin to drown.
Thank God my purpose is NOT to drown! It's to walk on water (God's will for me) while trusting in Christ to lead me and light my sinful path.
"As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." 1 Peter 1:14-16
